Why is Daring to Dream Essential? (Part One)
Part 1, in a (I’m not sure how many parts yet) delightfully informative and inspiring series 🤣
When we are in discomfort or suffering, it’s normal to want it to GO AWAY!
Our attention zeros in on our suffering and assesses the cause of it. We then explore how we can address the source of the pain and/or avoid the symptoms.
Makes sense.
Pain is typically a dreaded experience. Humans are hardwired to zero in on it. Pain is a signal, by design, to alert us something is happening that may need attention. This helps us to survive.
This system works really well when:
1) The source of our pain is apparent
2) We have the ability and resources to resolve the source of our pain
For instance, you fall on your bike and break your leg. You instantly feel pain and experience the inability to walk. While you may not know yet the extent of your injury, it’s apparent where the pain is coming from. It signals the need to get medical attention to understand the nature of the injury and how to heal. In this case, the pain points directly to the source. It alerts you to take the necessary steps to help you heal and relieve the pain from that injury.
→ The broken leg is the cause of the pain
→ The pain is the signal that you’ve broken your leg.
Pretty straightforward.
Here’s the thing, though: humans experience all kinds of pain, suffering, and discomfort, and it’s not all as clear-cut as a broken leg most of the time.
Here’s a silly but illustrative example of where our desire to address our pain and suffering can get, well…problematic:
Let’s imagine you go to the doctor with your broken leg, and you say: “I’ve injured myself, I’m in pain, please help me.”
Your doctor is going to take some x-rays or a CT Scan and comes back in to say: “Bad news, you’ve got a broken leg that requires surgery to heal, you’re going to be laid up this summer, and you’ve got a one year journey of intensive rehab ahead of you to recover. The good news is that with this surgery and your rehab efforts, you will fully recover and likely be stronger than ever. Here’s some pain pills and a brace. I’ll see you in 48 hours in the OR to get you on the healing journey”.
Now imagine this is your response, “But doctor, that sounds hard and terrible. I don’t want to go through that. Can’t you just do something to make my pain go away, and I’ll go home and put this whole thing behind me?”
Your doctor says, “Well, sure, here’s a prescription for addictive-forming pain medications that will impair your ability to function and possibly ruin your life. You’ll need these loathsome crutches that you’ll struggle to use, and here’s a brace that will keep you up at night and make you uncomfortable every moment of the day. Over time, your bones will heal, but your leg will be deformed for life, you will likely always deal with chronic pain, and you may never be able to walk again. Good luck!”
Sounds ridiculous, I know, but this is how we approach many of the frequent, insidious experiences of suffering we encounter in our day-to-day lives that aren’t as obvious as acute pain from a traumatic injury.
By nature, we want to move away from suffering and don’t want to deal with more challenges or pain to resolve it.
When the source of our pain and suffering is obscured, repetitive, or outside of our control, we will zero in on managing the symptoms and develop all types of creative strategies to cope. It makes sense; sometimes, this is the reasonable or best option until more clarity and a better resolution are found.
What does this have to do with Daring to Dream? Stay tuned for the next part of this journey next week!
With love and solidarity,
Annie
PS. Do you have any childfree friends or friends of childfree women who would enjoy receiving these emails? I would be grateful if you spread the word and encouraged them to sign up for my newsletter through this link, where they will also receive the Free Dare to Dream Meditation.
