Rushing Costs BIG TIME!

I was sitting on the side of the curb, when they all came running out to check on me. Moments later I was passing out. 

All this, after trying so hard to not bother anyone, and now I was surrounded by people, mostly strangers, taking time out of their day to comfort and help me, debating about calling 9-1-1. 

Flash back, about 30 minutes earlier:

It is a beautiful Friday morning, with the start of a radiant holiday weekend on the horizon. I wrap up with my last client of the week, ending on a high note. The whole rest of the day is wide open for me to catch up and dive into passion projects. I am looking forward to 4 days of summer fun! I put some music on and start to flow. Then, suddenly, I check the clock. My intuition nudging me… I have forgotten something. 

Damn! A bang trim scheduled in 9 minutes. 

It’s too late to walk and Ryan is at work with our truck. 

I LOATHE being late. It elicits hardcore shame for me. So my brain kicks into fight or flight. I run around frantically trying to figure it out, and decide I’ll ride my bike. I’m in a dress and sandals, but that’s cool. I mean, that’s great, right? It’s summer, and it’s just down the street a bit. I got this!

I rush, rush, rush to get my bike out of the garage, and as I rush, forgo the helmet (NEVER, forgo the helmet), and off I go. Breathlessly at first, wondering if I am revealing my bare ass to the world, or worse. I do a little wardrobe check as the wind blows through my hair. I’m good. Whew, I did it! 

I get that rush of adrenaline and the sense of accomplishment when rushing pays off and the anxiety starts to wane. I even start to feel a little badass that I pulled it off, and in a green dress, no less. The sun is shining, I feel like a kid. I even make it to my 15 minute appointment on time. 

But, the adrenaline is still pumping as I excitedly chat to my stylist about her recent trip to Europe. Her next client comes in, and I feel anxious to get out of the way. I am still amped up from the rushing, but I don’t realize it.

I rush out the door of the salon with a joyful goodbye, and hop on my bike. I quickly see an opening in traffic and rush to get across the street, but my bike doesn’t move forward, I’m stalled out. I start to fall sideways, catch myself with my left leg, and… it happens. 

The rushing check I cashed for this appointment comes due right then and there. And, it’s $$$$$!

I know in an instant something is terribly wrong. I can’t put any weight down on my leg. 

In shock, I worry my stylist and her next client might be able to see me, and I don’t want to bother them, so I hop out of the street on one leg and drag my bike with me. 

I realize, it’s bad, it’s really bad. 

And, oh shit, now I’m going to pass out. So I hop to the curb to sit down so to avoid making a scene or hitting my head. And now, I am a woman in a green dress laid out on the side of the road, a full spectacle of human vulnerability. 

It’s 4 weeks later, and I am recovering from surgery for a plateau tibial fracture, and the complete inability to rush to do anything, whatsoever. Rushing is not even an option I can physically entertain. Not for a good long time. 

And, to be frank, I really want to be done with rushing forever, unless it’s a genuine emergency and even then, rushing often doesn’t help. 

This is not the first rushing toll I’ve paid, but it may be the highest. Mighty high!

How about you? What’s your relationship to rushing? 

When did all this rushing become so routine? I see it everywhere. I’ve lived it too often, in the past. I feel like most of us talk about rushing with disdain, but do it every day with such normality. 

Grind culture is all up in our nervous systems, and it’s time to cut the cord on it!

Here’s the thing, when you fuck up and you are late for an appointment, it’s not the end of the world. It’s an opportunity for reflection, maybe some measured remorse, reconciliation, and taking a look at your systems for ways to improve. It’s not a time to take risks to your well being, or others, for that matter. 

I was so worried about inconveniencing or being rude to my stylist that I put my own life and wellness at risk, and altered my life pretty profoundly, as a result. I wish I could go back and tell myself to take a deep breath, call, reschedule, pay for her time, and apologize. Set an alarm next time. Let it go. 

The thing is, most of us are engaging in risks of rushing all the time or not taking care of ourselves like we deserve with all this hustling on a daily basis. How many times have you been speeding in your car after skipping breakfast, while answering a call, drinking a hot coffee, trying to turn down the volume on your podcast and text someone back? 

I have been on the path for some time to disentangle myself from rushing and hustling. And, yet, here I am now, dependent and unable to walk for the rest of the summer after doing just that. I feel like the Universe has given me an opportunity to learn this lesson more deeply, untangle a bit more, and hopefully share my new learning with all of you. 

Are you ready to ditch rushing? Are you ready to cut the cord on hustle and grind culture?

Let’s find our way together to lives designed for flow and ease. 

I invite you to join me on this journey. 

To a summer of love, healing, and easefulness,

Annie